DOCtalk by Dr. Gregg 6/2/13

_HIT Happens

Some days, dealing with HIT and EHRs leaves little to smile about. Those days are great for a little “_HIT Happens” observational humor.

Q: How many EHRs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We may never find out because they won’t work together.

Q: What’s the best use for most EHRs?
A: Obtaining government incentive money.

Q: Why did the EHR cross the road?
A: Because MU said it had to.

Q: How are wisecracking yokels the same as EHR vendors discussing data migration?
A: Both commonly use the line, “You can’t get there from here.”

Q: What did the EHR say to the PM?
A: We’ll never know; the interface failed.

Q: How do you guarantee a loss of EHR data?
A: Migrate to a new EHR.

Q: When is an EHR like a “ball-busting” contagious disease?
A: When it has MUMPS.

Q: How do EHRs make doctors’ lives easier?
A: No…seriously…how?

Q: What do you get when you cross an HIT geek with a clinician?
A: An argument.

Q: Why are HIT experts and doctors so opinionated and egoistic?
A: No, seriously … why?

Q: What do you get when you have twelve HIT pros in a room?
A: Thirteen different opinions about the best way to manage an IT project.

Q: If Johnny has five EHRs and he gives Susie two EHRs, how many EHRs does Johnny have left?
A: Trick question: nobody’s stupid enough to have more than one EHR at a time.

Q: When are you likely to scream at your EHR?
A: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, (still counting …)

Q: How can you get an EHR vendor’s support team to answer your call for help?
A: You can’t, unless you have their address, some extra frequent flyer miles, and a baseball bat.

Q: What do you get when you take the “E” out of “EHR”?
A: Paper … tons and tons of paper.

Q: How do make an EHR crazy?
A: Ask it to manage immunization rules.

Q: Why did the EHR buy cool sunglasses and a Porsche?
A: Because it wanted to be HIPAA.

Q: Why was the EHR so popular?
A: Because it gave good UX.

Q: What do patient privacy and cloud-based EHRs have in common.
A: Nothing.

Q: Why is a locally hosted EHR better than cloud-based EHR?
A: Baseball bats are ineffective on clouds.

Q: Why couldn’t the EHR find true love?
A: Seriously? Have you ever used an EHR?

Q: When will EHRs achieve true maturity?
A: Stardate 500606.67

Q: What’s the best way to wrap up a long day in front of an EHR?
A: Again, it has to do with the aforementioned baseball bat…

From the trenches …

“We all have [_]hit on our shoes. We’ve just got to realize it so we don’t track it into the house.” – Karl Marlantes

Dr. Gregg Alexander, a grunt in the trenches pediatrician at Madison Pediatrics, is Chief Medical Officer for Health Nuts Media, an HIT and marketing consultant, and sits on the board of directors of the Ohio Health Information Partnership (OHIP).